I recently discovered a feature on my cell phone. I'm exploring it trying to find things to like about it because my contract doesn't expire until September and I really want a Blackberry... okay I really want an iPhone, but since Neal already has one I can only anticipate the end of our relationship if another one is brought into the home, so Blackberry it is. This is for one of 2 reasons: 1) We would completely stop talking to each other because we would constantly be messing with new aps and Facebooking or 2) We would constantly fight because I accidentally took Neal's phone instead of my own, or vice versa, because we are both that absent-minded. I already have a Mac and an iPod... I can live without the iPhone. Besides, if I did get one I'd be completely brought over to the "other side." The Apple side. Maybe I need the Blackberry to keep me grounded. So I've been touring the features on my current phone, trying to find reasons why it's SO COOL so I don't get completely irritated at all the buttons I have to push to send a simple text message. Stupid buttons! Anyway, I found a voice recorder. Now before you sigh like my 6-year-old and say, "duh" know that I know this is a common feature. It's just not one I'd used on my phone before... at least not on purpose. I've recorded conversations by accident at least a dozen times, but now I'm using it intentionally. I've decided every time I see something or have a random thought that I will say it into my phone and talk about it later. Lucky you!
Thought #1
Super Weightless? I was watching a Cover Girl commercial and was listening to Beyonce, Eva Longoria Parker and Elizabeth Banks spew very trendy, scripted lines about how awesome the make-up is and I began to wonder what happened to our language. Do people just use words to use them? So people use the word "super" instead of "very" and that's okay, but to call something super weightless... really? Can you be MORE weightless than weightless? Was Cover Girl so concerned with making their make-up appeal to all ages that they decided it was a good idea to make 3 successful women (ages 27, 33, and 35 - I checked) talk like 13-year olds? Why not just have them do the commercial in a text message? SPR W8L3SS! I wonder if Elizabeth Banks knew when she signed up to do the commercial that you were going to make her sound like an idiot? Super Light... that would have worked, but Super Weightless? Dumb. It's just dumb.
Thought #2
Why do old people wear their nightgown to the mailbox? I was driving home from the gym and I saw a woman who was in her late 70's... maaaayybe early 80's getting her mail. It was around 11am and she was wearing a knee-length nightgown, matching robe and slippers. First of all... the fact that she was still in her jammies at 11am when you know she got up at 4:30 is awesome, but she wore them out on the street - a well traveled street - without a thought. Then it occurred to me that the lady down the street from me also gathers her mail in her jammies... but she's one of those ageless people that could be anywhere from 40 to 75 - I have no idea. The point is that older ladies have a tendency to grab their mail in their jammies - - I don't think I've ever seen an old man get his mail. I want to do this! I want to walk out of my house and not care if I have a bra on. I want to not care about walking outside in what are OBVIOUSLY night clothes at lunchtime. First I need jammies... I just sleep in t-shirts and shorts, mostly, so I would need more pj-like attire. I guess what I really just need is a house coat - a frilly, silky one with lots of lace and doilyesque features. And old lady slippers - the spongy, terry cloth ones. Although, with all the efforts I take in trying not to look like I'm growing old... maybe I should hold off until I've gone over the hill and am back on the flat.
Thought #3
A guy on the radio used the word "persistencey." I don't think this one needs an explanation, but I'll give one anyway. Persistencey. I would cut the guy some slack for making up words if he had caught himself, but if you're on a nationally syndicated show and you're interviewing someone... shouldn't you know that this is not a word? Persist. Persistent. Persistently. Persistence - yes. But persistencey? Like your persistencey in that situation was super weightless?
That's it?
I only used this feature 3 times!?
I felt like I was using it all the time. Anyway, I might have a crappy phone (1 - 1 - B, 2 - 2 - E, 2 - 2 - 2 - C, 1 - A, 8 - 8 - U) but at least I can find a use for it that keeps me entertained.
