Paper or plastic no more... although I haven't been asked that question in years. I haven't been asked that question in so long that I was surprised to learn grocery stores still carry paper bags. Of course in every commercial you watch the woman (always a woman... I guess the grocery store has too many colors and bright lights for men to be successful grocery shoppers) carry her groceries in one, MAYBE two, but typically all of her groceries will fit into one, paper bag. I suppose it does look much nicer on TV than 400 plastic bags would. Is that an exaggeration? NO. Maybe... Okay YES it's an exaggeration, they don't actually give you 400 bags, but it's close! ATTENTION GROCERY BAGGERS: You don't need to separate EVERYTHING! I hate getting home from grocery store to find that they have placed a pack of gum and a card in one giant bag. What the Hell!? Does that really need it's own bag? If so, just hand it to me and I'll put it in my purse. I went to Wal-mart with my kids and bought 5 items... 5 not big, toiletry-type, not-misshapen items and the woman gave me 2 bags. What the? Seriously?
What it must be like to travel with these people! How many suitcases do you bring with you?? I mean, really! By the way you're bagging my groceries I can only imagine that you carry a separate suitcase with you for your shoes, shirts, pants, undergarments, socks and toiletries. And if one of those suitcases might appear half-way full... Get another suitcase!! Do you see my struggle with this logic?
So now I've got this cabinet that is dedicated to nothing, but plastic shopping bags... and it is FULL. I'm shoving them in there and it barely wants to close and I decide that this is ridiculous and I will no longer shop without my purchased, re-usable bags. The ones I keep buying and storing in my kitchen and then forgetting every time I go to the store. Those. From now on I will use those! If I don't forget them, of course. I've also stuffed handfuls of plastic bags inside the fabric bags so I can gradually dump them off in the recycling box at the store and take back my cabinet! I have so many plans for my new cabinet... what will I store in there!? Isn't my life exciting!?
So anyway, since I've dedicated myself to Earth-friendly grocery shopping I've learned something: Grocery store check-out people and baggers HATE these bags. HATE them. And as a result, they are starting to hate... ME. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate it when people hate me - I really identified with Pam on The Office when she said, "I don't even like thinking that Al Qaeda doesn't like me." Sad, but true. If they just got to know me...
You walk into the store with the bags and immediately everyone lazers in on you with their hate vision. "Great" they think to themselves... "This lady again." I know they're thinking this because I have yet to see anyone else carrying these bags. They make inaudible comments under their breath when they hand over my bags to the bagger. I get why they have a problem with this at Wal-mart, but have yet to understand it at Kroger or Food City. I've actually stopped going to Food City all together because the people there are just rude... and they quit carrying all my favorite things, but that's a different rant all together. I now drive an extra mile to Kroger, where they still hate me, but at least they hate me while smiling.
You see, at Wal-mart the check out person is also the bagger. And, at all of our locations (there are 3 Wal-marts within an 5 mile radius of my house) they don't have that conveyer belt that runs the groceries to a bagger person. Instead the check out person IS the bagger person and the bags hang from hooks next to the check out person and in some cases, they're on this spinning thing where the person can quickly go from bag to bag and then you are required to pull them and stick them in your cart (don't miss this step because that will also anger them... even though I don't remember signing up for this job) I learned the other day that they are timed on their scanning of items to make sure they don't suck, and since the check-out lines aren't set up to accomidate these bags, it makes it difficult for them to meet their quota. Okay! I get that! Thank you for telling me. Now here's where I say, "Sorry, but I don't care. I have already started making plans for my new cabinet." The lady actually told me that I could bring in the plastic bags to recycle them. Sorry - did we just eliminate reduce and reuse? Even my 6 year-old can tell you that it's not enough to just recycle! Don't tell me it's the same if I bring my bags in! Don't you know what it takes just to remember to bring in these bags!? And after I've say, "I just can't deal with the plastic bags anymore." The Wal-mart checker says, "I know! I use the fabric bags, too." Oooh... I see... it's only okay when YOU do it.
I give up.
But, I get why the Wal-mart folks get a little pissy. My bags can hinder their job performance. But I say "For Shame, Wal-mart." If you're not going to compensate for the bags, then why sell them in the first place? You want to encourage their use! How much money would your franchise save by not having to use plastic bags anymore? But that's Wal-mart. What about grocery stores? Here's what I see: You have the conveyer belt that slides the groceries away from the Checker to the Bagger - even if you're timed - my bags don't affect you. The Bagger doesn't have to separate every thing into coordinated bags - saving time! The Bagger doesn't have to use as many bags - saving time! I would think that if you're being timed, you'd look like a rock star! I don't see an issue. Would someone please explain to me why they still give me the furry eye-ball when I hand over my bags? Do they hate Earth? Does it disrupt their compulsive need to put everything into it's own bag? What is the problem here?
Maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal if ONE other person in Knoxville would join me in my quest. Take bag your plastic bag cabinet! Think of the things you could put in there... place mats... storage containers... pots... or pans... or you could go in a totally different direction and put shoes or... or crayons and art supplies in there! The possibilites are endless! Then maybe we could all be hated together, or the grocery store people will get used to us and I can return to a harmonious relationship with them. Please. I can't stand the hate! Help me love Earth (and open up some cabinet space).
4 comments:
They hate me even more because I don't have the nice stand up bags that they sell at the grocery stores. I bought the floppy bags off the Internet and the baggers have a hard time even finding the opening, let alone actually getting anything into them! It's awesome. I stand there and sigh and roll my eyes and check my (nonexistent) watch a lot while waiting for them to bag my groceries.
That last sentence is a lie.
If I may borrow your rant: What about when you put all your frozen stuff on the conveyor belt first, then your cheeses, then your meats, then your canned goods, etc. and when you get home you have lettuce crammed in with chicken and canned tomatoes in with cheddar and you can't rush in with the frozen stuff in the summer because it's spread out among all the bags. Irritating.
Oh totally! I always end up leaving one refrigerated item out way too long because it's in with the crackers and bread. At this point I'm just like, cram the bags FULL - I don't care how organized it is, I just don't want to carry in 40 bags. Just pack it in! And they look at me like I'm speaking in tongues. Like I'm some grocery savage!
I've never been such a rebel!
Ahem. I do most of the grocery shopping around here. I like the bright lights and colors. And it also gives me something to do with the kids for about an hour which requires very little imagination and minimal effort. Does that make me sound like a bad dad? Oh well. I'm still one step above those people who go to McDonald's, buy a coffee, open the paper, and then shove their kids into the boa constrictor and hypodermic needle pit.
Hey, I have the a marginal amount of confidence in Dad shoppers! The level rises if there's a list involved, but, and I can only base this off of my own experience - do you feel like you have to come home with a lot of impulse buys? Mostly candy?
What I really meant in that quip was that people in TV land don't think men are capable shoppers... in fact, if you really pay attention to commercials - the people in TV land don't find men capable of much other than beer drinking and lawn growing.
Secondly - NO, it doesn't make you a bad dad... unless it makes me a bad mom. Should I be worried if the Target Starbucks people know me by name... and the names of my kids... and I know them without their name tag? 'Cuz if it is a problem, I'm not fixin' it! So you go rock your grocery shopping!
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