It would be nice if I could go to a place like Target and have a normal experience. When I go shopping with my kids I know to expect a certain level of insanity. I know that no matter what I tell them not to do while we're in the parking lot, the second we get through the door they're going to ask me for an icee, a pack of gum and toys. If these items are not surrendered immediately, they will be requested every 5 minutes until we leave the store. The cart with the two chairs will also be fought for and I will agree to drive it... foolishly. I say foolishly because every time I go to Target and get the cart with the seat, the cart that requires a Masters degree in Engineering to maneuver through the aisles, every time I get that cart for the children... the children don't sit in it. They walk next to it, run around it in circles, cling to the sides of it like they're windsurfing, or try to climb inside the basket. They never actually sit in the chairs. I also know that one person I know will inevitably call me with an emergency at the very moment my kids start fighting over which one of them gets to hold the toy that I'm NOT going to buy. I know that in all the chaos I will completely forget what I came to the store for, didn't make a list or made one and left it in the car and will forget the very thing I planned the trip to retrieve and will not remember what that was until I'm leaving the parking lot. It's at this point that I will swear and my 6 year-old will ask me if that's the "d" word... or the "s" word depending on how badly I needed the missing item.
I know exactly what to expect when I go shopping with my kids, but is it too much to ask that when I go to Target to run a simple errand that I have a normal experience? When I have the rare opportunity to enjoy a few minutes to myself and do some mindless shopping, it would be nice if weirdos would just take a smoke break and leave me to my shopping. It would be nice if said weirdos would not steal my cart! The cart that I parked and walked away from because its freaking DECEMBER and there isn't a time when Target isn't crowded in December and I don't want to spend my time there trying to purge my cart through the aisle full of people. I should be able to put items in a cart, walk away from the cart and return to find my cart and the items right where I left them. Isn't there some unwritten grocery store (or any store requiring a cart) rule that you don't touch a cart with stuff in it? It is a cruel thing to take a woman's cart when she has 3 kids... one of them born just 6 weeks ago, and not tell her... or leave a note... something.
"Dear person who left your cart and did absolutely nothing wrong,
I took your cart and dumped all your crap because I'm lazy and I suck. I'm a horrible person and I'm sorry. Here's your crap.
Sincerely,
The Douche Bag Who took Your Cart"
Would that be so hard? Do you know what happens in the mind of a person who just had a baby, lives on 4 hours of sleep and goes down an aisle at the store only to find that her cart is gone?? I walked around for 15 minutes trying to remember where I left it before it occurred to me that someone took it and then I still circled the area 3 more times to be sure. Finally I discovered my items... carelessly dumped where my cart used to be. What a bunch of assholes! Or just one colossal asshole, but seriously! What is that all about? You couldn't find an empty cart?? I did... right next to where mine was. Oh, yeah... you bet your ass I took it. Let someone else wander around like an idiot.
Maybe I should have left a note...
1 comment:
I love it! I think during the holidays the cart thieves are out in full force so beware! Oh and watch for those carts with the car on the front, they are just as bad to navigate. Of course worse then having to make a turn down the aisle like you are stearing a tractor trailor is when your kid gets in the car and starts eating. When you look down you realize he is eating what appears to be a half eaten cracker or some peice of candy that problably dropped out of a sick kids mouth.
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